Parenting Advice from Ellen Pober Rittberg

Sure, my kids thought I was warm and fuzzy. But underlying it all was a stealth agenda of sorts. I knew there were certain values I wanted to emphasize: I wanted my kids to be independent but I didn’t want to raise a family of slugs (which on bad days, seemed like a definite possibility.)  I wanted them to be kind and considerate. But by the same time, I encouraged healthy self-deprecation, and without encouraging it, all of us could poke fun at each other within bounds.

Some of my extreme notions which worked for me was: I seriously restricted television when they were pre-K, and didn’t let them watch cartoons. I wanted them to experience life and to make decisions for themself in an age-appropriate way (appropriate to both them and me).

I rarely went to shopping malls, preferring to take them to arboretums, parks, and other places where they could learn and experience the world.

I refused to buy them certain brands of jeans which seemed ridiculously frivolous ans wasteful.

I didn’t check homework ever unless things reached crisis proportions (which I don’t think it ever did.) And when my middle son found out he needed to complete a whole raft of earth science labs pronto or else flunk the course, he got them all done.

I didn’t want to be their clean up squad but I tried to create an environment where, if they got into a situation they ought not to get into, they wouldn’t be too afraid to come to me.

There’s more, but this is a blog. And besides, there’s my book! (335 Things Your Teen Won’t Tell You, So I Will” (Turner Publishing, 2010)